In Other News.... Don't Fake Sign Langauge

I don't know how I missed this, but apparently someone thought that they could volunteer to be the sign language translator at Nelson Mandela's funeral (yup, you hear this right) without actually knowing any sign language. So that's embarrassing. Don't do that.

After multiple sources from different countries confirmed that all of his signs were gibberish and he wasn't actually signing anything, he blamed it on a schizophrenic episode and said that he had started hallucinating during the presentation (which was why he was just waving his arms about, essentially, instead of, you know, helping deaf people).

The Markets. They Be Bubbly.

I love Bill Gross. I really do. In some ways, he reminds me of a slightly more outspoken, more-in-the-news Warren Buffet. He has the same folksy, let-me-break-it-down-for-you-through-an-adorable-metaphor-story-ism, he has the same look of someone's highly intelligent, very sharp grandfather. He inherently exudes a sort of presence that clearly says, "Don't mess with me. I've done this since before there was a stock market. I know all there is to know". Whether or not that last one is actually true is a different story, but the comment still stands.

He has been taking to the airwaves recently, calling the markets bubbly, claiming that the easy money policies have created artificially priced assets. He claims that, eventually, investors will realize that they are taking far too much risk for far too little reward, and then (I think this is his implication) will vacate those types of assets for something more stable, say, a fixed income vehicle of some sort. Who doesn't love a good solid bond?

Maybe it's because he's currently looking at his 7th month of negative cash flow from his fund at PIMCO, (totaling approximately $3.7B in cashouts, this would keep the fund on pace to be its biggest ever yearly outflow) that has got him in a tizzy. Whereas Gross' fund has given investors a loss of 1.72% this year, U.S. stocks have rallied 20% this year. (However, in all fairness, I need to note that in the past three months the fund has outperformed 93% of its peers and provided a 2.44% return.)It makes me a little sad to see PIMCO struggle like this, being from my hometown and the employer of many of my friends, but, as everyone says, we're at a turning point. The market is beginning to pivot, and any person in their right mind would never put their money in fixed income when (taking on more risk) they could see a great return as the market recovers. I, for one, have never really liked investing during the winter season as I think that there's too many variables to be able to accurately guess (because that's what all investors are essentially doing, no matter what they say) how the market will react to things-- especially when news outlets are releasing data about sales, profits and volume spent seemingly every 30 seconds. So I'll sit on it for a month before I make any decisions, but maybe I'll put a little more into my PIMCO Total Returns. Just to help 'em out.

Things I've Learned from Working

 

I was in a deep discussion the other day with one of my friends around what our worst and best jobs were. We thought deeply about what makes a good job a good one and a bad job a bad one.

All the normal characters were brought out-- a bad job? Well that would entail that you had at least one weird coworker who was always strangely (or outrightly) inappropriately sexual in the workplace, or a boss that tried to use the common approach of feedback ("Hey! Let's grab coffee, I want to hear about how you think that went") to be a truly awful person ("Is that soy? Did you order that with soy?", "Yes, I'm lactose intolerant...", "But soy is so fattening! Do you really think you need that right now?").But we soon realized that it was actually much easier to pinpoint what our favorite (best) job was then our worst ones, because even our worst ones taught us something about this crazy life we live. So I'm not going to comment any further on which one is my favorite or least favorite, but here's my list of things I've learned from each of my jobs:

1. "Street Marketer". Nope, this isn't code for "took her clothes off for change", though, in California that's entirely a possibility. No, what this meant was that, for a summer, I was that annoying person that snuck around car parking lots and put little flyers on your window for when you came back. The flyers advertised a pizza place on Main Street in Huntington Beach that you probably would've gone to anyway. But hey, it paid $20/hour, and that was a lot when you're 13! Things I learned:
• Car alarms are surprisingly sensitive, particularly around the windshield area. You're actually much more effective if you tuck it into the window on the drivers side because then i won't slip down and they'll see it as they get into the car
• You might think that parking your car in a garage might give you a little added safety, since there's a person sitting there taking money and watching people come in and out of the garage. That person is usually some high schooler who couldn't give less of a crap about someone coming in and touching your car. I'm sure it helped because I was a 13 year old girl in a jean mini, but don't hold your breath that I couldn't grow up into a 27 year old miscreant in a jean mini
2. Basketball Coach. This one is kind of self explanatory, except that it was for 9-11 year old girls. 
• This age group is confusing as hell. They're beginning to understand that they are supposed to be holy terrors in about a year or so, but they're figuring out (slowly) how far they can push their boundaries without getting in trouble just yet. Best bet is to treat them like you would a younger sibling
• This age group also hasn't figured out yet that sports are good! They're cool! They keep you in shape throughout your high school (and if you're lucky) college years and beyond! The answer to this misconception is to make them run suicides
3. Secretary and Counselor for the Boys and Girls Club. This was kind of awesome. Check in the kids, answer the  phones and then go help them with their homework or play kickball. 
• I got a little metal stool that I could sit on behind the desk, which changed my life. Would highly recommend this as sometimes the parents just want to chat when they pick up and drop off their kids
• You get sick a lot more when you're around this many children of all different age groups. Because. Well, children are just walking biohazards really. You also develop a favorite age group (mine are the 5-6 year olds because they still think you're cool and they still love you and will listen to you)
• You realize that the idea of having children is terrifying. So this is the perfect job for a teenager
4. Student Worker at the Local Cafe on Campus. This was kind of awesome because, well, free food that wasn't cafeteria food. And, it was right across the street from my dorm
•  Uh free food? Awesome. Making random new types of food with the given ingredients? Awesome.
• Not awesome was the mandatory over night shifts we had to take a few times a semester and cleaning up puke during this overnight shifts because it always happened on the weekends
5. Summer RA. For girls dorms. For sports camps, alumni reunions and whatever else happened on campus
• Adults, when put into dorms, turn back into students
• Young girls, when at sports camp and away from their parents, turn into squealing psychos (seriously, they terrorize each other)
• The best type of people to RA are nuns and priests that are here for what I assume are nun and priest conferences

 Then I graduated and got a "real job". *sigh* I guess you can't have it all....

Jon

When I was young, my parents owned a small deli in our tiny little town. Every day, Jon would come in. I was probably 4 or 5 when I made my first memory of Jon, but apparently he had come in to my parents deli every day since before I was born.

Everyday, he would buy a pack of Camels. Which I always thought was fitting since he always had a grizzly, blond, 5 o'clock shadow and kind of looked like what I imagined a camel would look like. His specialties were talking about the weather, wearing a different colored (but same) flannel shirt every day, making Donald Duck noises and telling me inappropriate life truths for someone of my age. My mom was always nice to him, and would always give him a free cup of coffee for his 3 hours of out-loud pondering (while he chain smoked at least a quarter of his pack-- everyone smoked inside back then, it was the thing to do), because I think we assumed that he didn't have anyone else. Any time that we tried to ask him about his children, he would always change the subject or just brush us off with something like, "Well, they're much older than this little one here. Enjoy her while you can! They grow up, and then they forgetcha."

I remember that, once, I asked him why he worked, because in my mind, my parents didn't work. This was just their life. They were born into the making of sandwiches during lunchtime and providing candy to kids on their way home. That was just science. As usual, when I asked a question that maybe struck Jon in an unexpected way, he paused in his blowing of smoke into the general cloud that surrounded him and stared hard at me like I had just materialized in front of him.

"That's just what you do." He said.
"Is it fun? Do you get to be with your friends?"
He laughed. "After awhile, even if they're not your friends, they're your friends."
I stayed quiet because I sensed I was about to be exposed to an inappropriate truth, which in my mind were just "adult secrets".
"Some people work because they want things. But don't you ever fall into that trap. You don't actually need things. Most people need very few things. You should stay away from people who try to tell you that you need a lot to be happy. They're just trying to make themselves feel better because things are the only things that make them happy."
"But I want things." (This was true-- I really wanted that Little Artist Set at the craft store that my mom told me repeatedly was too expensive.)
"Try giving some of the things you have to someone else." And then he made a Donald Duck noise and went back to making a cumulonimbus (or at least a very heavy fog) around himself.

I did end up getting that Little Artist set that year. I used it once but quickly lost interest. For my birthday, I got a very similar "art for kids" set. I told my mom to donate it to someone else since I already had one.

Now, every Christmas season, I think about Jon. He's probably long gone by now, but I still think about how simple his life was, and how much perspective he brought to my life-- even today.

"The Logic of Stupid Poor People"

Came across this article and had to share it.... Super interesting.

I'm A Leaver!

I'm a little nervous because of my friend at school, P. He's kind of the best guy ever-- one of those people that you meet and you feel an instant connection to, so even though you've only known them for a short time (like 1 year) they feel like family and you can't really imagine what life would be like without them in it, now that they're in it.

I was sitting in the Winter Garden yesterday doing coffee chats (there's a lot of those now, as my poor first years begin to realize the horrors of what it means to be in full-on recruiting mode). It was probably my 5th or 6th one and I was running out of ways to explain why strategic roles don't necessarily always have the word "strategy" in the job title. As I finished up, P came bouncing up to me in the adorable way that he does (he usually bounces everywhere actually), and proclaimed "I want to hang out more. Like, now. Well not now, but soon. Because you're a leaver! You're going to be leaving me soon!". I was kind of confused at first. At first, I thought he meant "a lever" and so I pantomimed my arm being a lever and then giggled in a stupid way as I waved my lever arm around.

It struck me though that he's right. I've been so focused on "the next thing"-- the next LEAD event, the next dinner I had to make, the next planning meeting, the next time I had to go to work, the next final, etc. that I hadn't stopped to fully realize-- holy shit I'm going to be leaving Chicago in six months! In the beginning of fall, I think I realized it because my thoughts were still on all the paperwork I had to fill out to get ready to leave Apple/go back to Apple full-time. Now, because of how busy I've been, I've forgotten to keep that in mind and forgot that my big focus point for this year was to make the most of me living in Chicago.

Granted, a lot of my time has been taken up by dealing with a ridiculous (I mean it, ridiculous) roommate situation, but I really need to reprioritize my life.

In other news, I also noticed a few days ago that when I have to wait in a standing position (like, in a line or something) for any extended period of time (2 minutes) I do this weird thing where I tap my right and left feet. Not like, tap dancer style. But like I'm trying to communicate using Morse code with my feet. I can't remember when I started doing this weird thing, but now that I've noticed I can't stop. I'm such a strange person.

Tech Giants-- Making Money (or Not), Hating on Each Other, etc.

 

I haven't caught up on my news in awhile. I've just been all over the place. I have a couple of questions and/or thoughts:

• Why isn't Amazon making money yet? Any article that starts off by saying, "Amazon’s third quarter followed a familiar script: it sold vast quantities of things, lost money while doing so, and investors were delighted." is never a good sign. It has 100 fulfillment centers, two more to come, they've expanded their services into several new ventures-- but are they heading the right direction? I've got a new theory that, similar to the way there were certain banks that were "too big to fail", there are tech companies who are that way too. Amazon I think might be beginning to fall into that category. They'll probably never go under, but they might not ever make a ton of money either
• Microsoft is definitively at a cross roads.  Go the business route for the stability? Chase after individual consumers for the hype and potentially higher margins? Hardware? Software? So many decisions...
• I knew it. I knew there was something bad about working at Google. Though I gotta say, "I work with too many awesome people" is weak sauce. I'm looking at you, guy.
• I love Jeff Koons, but I had no idea he designed the new ARTPOP cover for Lady Gaga. Upon further reflection, it totally makes sense. Even though ARTPOP isn't doing well. Sad face.
• It was only a matter of time before the big names in Tech (Microsoft, Google, Apple, etc.) began to turn on each other. Therefore: Microsoft's new campaign (complete with swag!) that's anti-Google
• I can't believe it's possible that a whole town can't have cell phones. But I guess looking for life in outer space is a worthy cause. This is a real thing people.

LEAD is Over

 

Today was the last day of LEAD. We met last night actually, and we were originally going to go Russian Bath House, but due to the fact that our school probably thought that was sketchy as all get-out, we decided to go to Murphy's Bleachers, a show at iO ("Felt") and karaoke at Trader Todd's. Which was an awesome night, except I lost my voice at the beginning of this week, so I saved everyone from my definitive caterwauling and left after iO. (Sleeping after drinking Nyquil has never felt so good, I have to be honest.)

I think the LEAD staff (our LEAD Facils) do a great job structuring the program. They end with a brunch (this morning) with a readout of "appreciations" which are a bunch of things that your other LEAD  folks wrote for you, thanking you for the things that you did for them throughout the year. 

One of my favorites was "For being my cannibal marshmallow twin, and just going with it." We do a lot of weird stuff in LEAD, if the Russian Bath House wasn't an indication. My second favorite starts with "Goddess of Computers and Memes" which I love.

LEAD was a really good time. I'll miss it, but this, like everything else will change. We'll still hang out-- but in much more inappropriate ways I'm sure. Bones N Noses fo' life.

Fancy SV-ers Ruining It for the Rest of Us

You know what I'm sick of? Those hot-shot folks in Silicon Valley-- riding their candy whips, sippin' on the 'Cardi and upgrading to their iPhone 5S-es (I always have to check when I type that--- I'm constantly terrified that I typed "iPhone 5 asses") like gangstas do.

How dare they try to save the news industry by investing their ungodly amounts of money in dying news channels? (Though I guess some of it is well-deserved since they're...you know...making things that no one has ever tried before.) Trying to innovate by putting desktop-power chips in phones and forcing progress across the board?

But the real fear should probably focus on the Seattle area. Bezos is on a tear right now. He's on the news investing thing, he's making a ton of revenue (though no profit yet).

I just remember that the young professionals in Silicon Valley were the dreamers-- the independent, free-thinking spirits who dreamt big and did big things. As Silicon Valley grows, it seems like there's a distinct change in the atmosphere-- people are more obsessed with the "see and be seen", the dreaming has been tied up in red tape, and it's become increasingly clear that nothing is for free any more (real estate in San Francisco? Fughedaboutit. Three words: Google Bus Pinatas.)

Going back to Silicon Valley in a few months will be a huge change for me, and I wonder how I will adapt. Here's the list I have so far:

1. Denial-- just refuse to believe I'm spending $2K+ per month for 600 square feet
2. Bargaining-- see if maybe my office will let me sleep under my desk
3. Anger-- I feel like this is where most of my time will be spent

How I Feel Nowadays

Barack Obama Broke the Internet

 

So, in case you missed it (because who doesn't love up-to-the-minute updates about the healthcare?) Healthcare.gov launched recently and Barack Obama (by the way, have you ever Googled "Obamacare"?  It's scary-- see one of my favorites above).

Apparently there's been mixed results in terms of how effective the healthcare.gov website has been, from some people saying that 130K people have signed up for healthcare, to people saying that unique visitors declined from 15M to 4M in the first two weeks due to poor website performance.  The real numbers are probably lower than that, even though some states are definitely farther ahead than others. Obama has been quoted saying that "nobody's madder than me" about the failures of the website. I do like this article from BusinessWeek though about the allocation of money to develop this site. The site cost $394M, of which, $88M went to a Canadian development firm called CGI. However, it seems wrong to blame it all on the developers. Anyone who has ever worked with the government can attest that most of the repositories, data sources and tools are laughably outdated and impossible to work with.

Overall, it seems like it was just a failure in expectation setting. After weeks of folks claiming that this was going to modernize healthcare and the high price tag, having glitchy back end systems are a huge let down-- especially for an administration that, at first glance, seemed to truly understand technology and how to connect people in effective ways. I have no doubt that they have an inordinate amount of people working on it now, but it may be too little too late.

Gross Gets All Up in ICahn's Bizness

Oh snap. I love it when investing rockstars decide to duke it out on Twitter. It's better than those celeb-feuds. Does this mean we can start referring to Gross and Icahn as "frenemies"? Or do they just hate each other.

Things I Learn on Imgur...

If you haven't been on Imgur before. You should go, it'll guarantee that you're never a productive member of society ever again.

The weird stuff you learn on the internet man. This, according to an Imgur account, is one of the most intriguing YouTube movies...

I want to know how they judged that.

Have You Ever Googled "Evil Starbucks"?

Well I have. And if you haven't, I highly suggest that you do and then look at the images that Google fetches back to you (stop trying to make fetch happen?). Because there are a lot of awesome pictures out there. I've included some of my favorites here.

I was just curious because I recently read this article about how Starbucks is charging customers in China about 30% more than they would at a Starbucks in Chicago. "Starbucks has been able to enjoy high prices in China, mainly because of the blind faith of local consumers in Starbucks and other Western brands," Wang Zhendong, director of the Coffee Association of Shanghai, told CCTV.

 I had a couple of thoughts here. True, China's profit margins are at about 32% compared to about 21% in the US, but let's be honest, Starbucks is just one of a line of big, American companies that have recently come under fire by the Chinese government. The fact of the matter is, even if the profit margins differentials weren't that big, the Chinese government (which controls a lot of the industry and production in the country) has it in their best interests to shut down the big (foreign, mostly American) companies that are coming in and stealing their market share. The problem that they're going to run into is that, increasingly, Chinese citizens don't trust the quality of food products in China (the number one thing that my relatives ask for when my family goes to visit are American vitamins from Costco, because they know that our FDA is much more strict than China's) and that American products are increasingly seen as a status symbol.

The consumer fear can be dampened (and is decreasing) as China's government begins to crack down on unhealthy or unsafe production practices. However, the second part, the increasingly popular perspective than anything American is awesome and a clear status symbol of how you're tiny, shoebox apartment is better than your neighbor's, is a harder battle to wage. (That's right, I've read all the GoT Books. I know how this lingo goes.) So, for those who think this is an unjust thing of epic proportions, nay! I say unto you. And this is why:

• They compare the price differential to a coffee in Chicago. Seriously people, in Chicago you can still get a nice, luxury apartment for less than two grand a month. Can you do that in San Francisco? Conversely, have you ever tried to buy a coffee in San Francisco? I'd like to see those differentials before I'm convinced that the American government is trying to subvert the Chinese government through coffee
• Starbucks is a luxury brand. Even in the United States. We have Dunkin Donuts and McDonalds that also serves completely safe, equally caffeinated (though maybe not) coffee but people like Starbucks because it offers that intangible feel (cafe spaces, free wifi, a "experience") that they like. Even compared to other coffees in the states, Starbucks is expensive. Luxury brands are expensive. More expensive than other brands. That's why they're called luxury brands. This happens regardless of country. Okay, horse beaten to death
•  If the demand wasn't there, they wouldn't price it like that. This is just economics people. I didn't need to go to school for this. The more people want it, the higher the price goes until there is an equilibrium where each increase in cost (and therefore profit) does not positively impact demand (okay that equilibrium part I needed to go to school for). But the point stands

America's Mood Map

I took this awesome quiz today and it said I belonged in South Carolina, which I think means that I'm friendly and conventional. That's not a surprise. What I want to know is, what if I'm friendly/conventional and butting up against states that are "relaxed and creative"? Should I be more of a green/orange color? Do I just hate that other state because state-mood colors don't mix?

If I'm friendly and conventional, I'd probably be against segregation.

Things I Learned Today...Part 7655.3

 

• At my school, there's a whole branch of research called "hedonomics"-- contrary to the popular study of economics that permeates pretty much all of my school, hedonomists define their study by saying, "Whereas economics studies how to maximize wealth with limited resources, hedonomics studies how to maximize happiness with limited wealth"
• They found that sometimes less is better depending on the perception. Whereas people almost always assume that more is better, depending on the perception (a high definition TV at the store when it's next to another HDTV or at home next to nothing, a full, small cup of ice cream instead of a normally filled, medium cup of ice cream) can distort your perception, leading you to buyers remorse or regrets later
• Additionally, when people thought strategically between how much reward they wanted before undertaking a task, they were able to better plan optimally for their rewards, ultimately leading to more happiness in the long run
•  At my school, there's also this sculpture in our courtyard (a courtyard we call the summer garden) and it's basically a barren tree with a bunch of rocks in the branches (see above). I always thought that this was some sort of sad, pathetic and/or angry symbol of UChicago as a whole ("where fun goes to die") but recently found out that the artist who made this piece grew up in rural Europe-somewhere (that's a real place, look it up) where it snowed all the time. Each winter, the snow would be so heavy that it would roll rocks down the mountains where she lived and push them into the trees below. When the snow melted in the spring time, the trees would all have these massive rocks in them. She made this work as a symbol of her home. This story made me feel better about my life
• I should never go shopping in October or April. April because most people get their tax refund checks then and the retailers jack up prices/decrease the number of promotions to capitalize on that. October because it's a retailer's reprieve between back to school sales and holiday sales, so they're unlikely to offer good deals during this time as they're trying to stay in the black
• 5s-es are selling better than 5c-s, which Bloomberg keeps reporting like it's some sort of genius idea. So you're telling me that in a crazily image-driven, status-symbol-centric culture like China (for the first time the iPhone releases are being simultaneously released in the US and China instead of through a phased rollout), people like the more expensive option? No way!
• Jeff Bezos (of Amazon) might be the best or worst leader ever. I never knew that he had such quips as, "If I have to hear that idea again, I'm gonna have to kill myself." On the other hand, he has a shadow CEO that follows him everywhere, so....that's.....interesting.

Zombie Spaceship Wastelands

I finished Patton Oswalt's book of the same name quite a few months ago now, but this concept of Zombie, Spaceships and Wastelands keeps bouncing around in my brain.

Knowing what I know, I should technically be a spaceship, but I don't think I can handle the isolation. I don't have the desire for destruction in me to be a Zombie, and I think I have some of that hopefulness that needs to be inherent in a Wasteland.

I think too many of my peers are Zombies and Spaceships. Zombies are aggressive-- they don't take no and they're unapologetic for the chaos and destruction that they inflict. They are stereotypically the embodiment of the selfie/ "me" culture. (See hilarious commentary on old-timey selfies here.) Spaceships really don't like being part of this bigger society, and they would much rather forge it on their own. I think this is fine actually, but it leads to a very isolationist lifestyle, which I don't think is super healthy. I am all for people being more introverted, but I think that spaceships take it to an extreme, and they are inherently running from the things that they can't fix or change instead of trying to change them.

Being a Wasteland isn't actually great either though. You're often in limbo-- stuck in the in-between where you aren't sure and moving forward it sometimes the same thing as moving back. Call it the problem of my generation-- moving up isn't the goal anymore, making it big quick is more often than not the aspirational story, but everything is becoming so much closer, competitive, smaller-- that you see your opportunities shrinking. You've been told your awesome most of your life, but real life is not so nice. But you're hopeful. It's a paradox and although I'm not entirely comfortable with it, I'm still thinking about it.

Why AmEx Has Gotten It Right

I'm not going to lie. I've always been a fan of American Express. It's a great company, a good place to work, they do exciting things, I respect their CEO. They actually do care about their customers as much as they say they do. The cafeteria isn't too terrible. It's a convenient commute from where I like to stay to the 3WFC... the list goes on and on (and, apparently, some of these things are more important than others, but it's funny that this is my list of reasons why I love Amex).

Today, BusinessWeek reported that Amex doesn't really care about mobile payments from a mobile phone. They're gonna give mobile payments through a little piece of plastic that holds all your pertinent information that is so small and light that it can fit into essentially any pocket.

Yeah they're doing it through your credit card. Shocker. The cool part is that they're going to offer you the ability to pay for cabs through membership rewards points that you can accrue through your credit card purchases. Tap 'n' go has always been a very convenient feature with the Amex Blue Cards, so this is an excellent way to capitalize on existing infrastructure. Which brings me to the top points of Amex Being Awesome:

1. Not investing into crazy amounts of new infrastructure when the existing infrastructure will do just fine
2. Tapping into a network that makes sense for day-to-day life. I mean, it's nice that (the now failed) Isis is giving away free Jamba Juices, but I don't need a Jamba Juice. I do need a cab. Especially in New York, I'm going to be using a lot of cabs. 
3. This encourages their members to burn their points in smaller increments (making it seem like less of a hit from a points-monger perspective) but to potentially do it more frequently. This is awesome because it reduces their float allocated to rewards points and increases customer satisfaction ("Hey! Look at how useful my points are! They are a real thing! There isn't a loyalty/reality gap!")
4. And finally, bridging the gap between the new and the old. Mobile payments has struggled not in small part because tapping against your phone against stuff to pay for other stuff is weird. Particularly with older generations (not a small part of Amex's main demographic), this is a hard gap to get over-- it's almost like learning how to do something you're very used to in a completely new way. By offering credit cards (old things) with new services (new things), it helps a user acclimate to new uses for common things-- things they're already used to, which can prime them for more innovative usage later.
5. Doing things this way usually results in more adoption, faster. This generates positive PR which they can leverage for their next big thing.

Good job Amex. Proud of you.

INTC and More Money for Me

Some people are Intel haters... For fear of vertical integration or just falling behind (re: Sandy Bridge or Cyclone) but I still see a bright spot for Intel. In business school we often read about the rise and falls of companies in their respective industries, and, almost like morbid stock analysts, we actually kind of cheer when a company falls from grace (when Apple's stock price dipped earlier this summer, I can't tell you how many people gleefully informed me that this was "the beginning of the end" to which I responded that the stock price is still in the hundreds.. as in, more than one hundred). But why are we so mean? Is it really even mean-ness? I think it's more the fact that when companies fail, it just makes for good reading fodder later.

Someone at HBS will write a fun back story for us about a business school student who suddenly thought about some underlying, fundamental problem. His name will be something generic, like Chad, and these ideas will suddenly come to him. His professors or connections will magically be able to offer time and resources, and he'll learn that what he learns in class at business school is applicable after all!

But I digress. Intel has always been known to be buttoned up-- pretty up tight-- the khakis and blue shirt uniform in a hoodies and jeans-type world. Their two-in-a-box leadership pitted two specialist leaders together in a partnership to guide their teams toward goals. They lead by challenging. It's a far cry from the meditation rooms at Google's office. Regardless of whether you agree with their leadership style, no one can argue that they don't know chips.They're good at it. They've done it for a long time. A lot of the industry still depends on them. They have been slow to adopt the new ways of thinking that have been pushed forward with the mobile generation.

They're going to be successful because, honestly, they're so big that they have a lot of gas left. If they don't introduce their Broadwell chips to some amazing reviews/innovations (this means no more delays), then they'll eventually run out of gas. But they're really cheap right now, and I can foresee an uptick when they finally introduce their new chips. In the long run? They're probably a sell. They don't have a ton going for them and they're not diversified. BUT they have the resources to innovate. Time will tell if they decide to capitalize on their current resources.

MBAs-- Taking Over The World

"MBAs Have Overtaken Law and Medicine Degrees"

It's official... MBAs are taking over the world, and ironically, the more of us there are, the less valuable we are. That's just economics.

Sad face. I hate it when fundamental forces of nature work against us. So much for spending a metric ton of money for no reason.

Things I Learn in School....

Lesson #18475740.3

Before he was a billionaire, Soichiro Honda was a hot mess.

Excerpt: "Soichiro Honda, an inventive genius with a legendary ego, founded Honda Motor Co., Ltd., in 1948. His exploits have received wide coverage in the Japanese press. Known for his mercurial temperament and bouts of "philandering", he is variously reported to have tossed a geisha out a second story window, climbed inside a septic tank to retrieve a visiting supplier's false teeth (and subsequently placed the teeth in his own mouth), appeared inebriated and in costume before a formal presentation to Honda's bankers requesting financing vital to the firm's survival (the loan was denied), hit a worker on the head with a wrench, and stripped naked before his engineers to assemble a motorcycle engine."

**I don't know why they put "philandering" in quotes. I really don't.

Booth Takes #1 Again...Or #2... Not Sure

It's weird times at school right now. More awkward than when Kendrick Lamar claimed to the be the king of New York (Jay-Z is just sitting court side I'm sure, laughing). More awkward than when you run into your ex and maybe you are friends or not friends and you're not sure what to do and you want to act cool but you're actually so distracted by everything else in your life that you're definitely NOT acting cool, but whatever. It's awkward. Awkward like when you need to sign your offer letter and you're getting to the point of, short of using the excuse "lady problems", you're running out of reasons why you have commitment problems and can't bring yourself to sign.

Why, you ask? Well, beyond the fact that half the student population is made up of second years who suddenly care a lot less about class but are now taking more advanced level classes...and beyond the fact that a quarter of the aforementioned population is also freaking out because they're not sure what they're going to do after they graduate (no job offer) and another quarter has offers and are pissing everyone off flaunting them and the other half are "re-recruiting". (NOTE: "Re-recruiting" has many definitions in business school, ranging from "I didn't like my job so I'm going to drop my resume to everyone who will take it in hopes that I can find something else" to "I'm not going to sign so I can look at other opportunities, and by "look at other opportunities" I mean, "drink my face off, stop going to class and sleep with everything in sight"".)

Forbes put us at #2 this year (based on ROI on how much we make vs. how much we spent to go to school), and The Economist put us at #1....based on pretty much the same metric. I don't wanna be "that guy", but I do want to say that someone's math must be wrong if we can't agree on this (there's also a lot of disparity within the top 5 between these two sources). The bigger question for me is, why do we care? Well, contrary to the belief of a lot of my non-bschool friends, who believe that this is all one giant pissing contest (which it is, to an extent), I'm (as in, me, personally) very invested in our rankings because it often determines how my friends and me will find jobs. Some companies place parameters on recruiting, saying things like, "we recruit the majority from the top X schools" or "we ONLY recruit at the top 10 schools". Which is, harsh, but as a company you really have to draw a line in the sand somewhere. We'd all like to believe that you can start anywhere and go anywhere, but there are real limits that are set-- be in the top 25, 20, 10, 5 to get yourself a leg up. These numerical allocations probably ultimately just cloud our judgements, but they happen every day.

Ultimately, these rankings are about as useful as a Starbucks in Salt Lake City (mormon joke!)/ a Black Angus in India (vegetarian joke!)/ soap on Haight Street (hippie joke!) or pepper spray in Canada (Canadians are so nice they make the rest of us look bad). All prospectives should really look at the programs and make a decision for themselves. I'm just scared of what these rankings are going to do for already-inflated egos.

I Miss You

As I write this, many of my friends are gathered in a church downtown. A Gothic church, with cloudy skies and a heavy drizzle that seems intent on making everyone reconsider the varying shades of gray that Chicago can fade into. They're there to say good-bye to one of my friends. A friend of ours, who unexpectedly passed, has had a surprisingly large impact on even the toughest of us.

Because of confidentiality reasons, we have been urged not to discuss it, but the loss still lingers-- quietly, in the back of everyone's mind. Although I was not the closest person to him, I do remember when I first met him. He wore pretty much the same hoodie every day, and had a smile that seemed to cut across the pettiness and cliquey-ness that can so easily penetrate any group of friends. I struggled his name the first time around-- and I remember he explained his nickname to make me feel less silly, foolish, and less overall like a bumbling idiot. He was very, very smart. And I respected him a lot. I miss our impromptu chats.

I couldn't really bring myself to go to the memorial, honestly. The idea of seeing all of my friends who also knew him all gathered in one place for the same reason seemed like I was finally admitting that it was true. That maybe in some way I was betraying him by admitting the truth. So I'm sitting at home now, having a more private memorial. I like to think he would've appreciated this-- being a techie himself, I can't think of a way more poetic to say goodbye. Instead of burning wishes or scattering ashes or shooting a boat with a fiery arrow like the Vikings, I'm immortalizing his being in tiny little bytes-- things that are broken down into 0s and 1s-- send quietly sending them into the abyss. These little morsels are nothing in the flood that is created every millisecond, but he was great to me even though he was just one person-- so this is fitting.

It's easy to pretend that maybe he's just doing other things-- and that's why I won't be seeing him around as much anymore. To make excuses that he's still around but just not here, not where I am, right now. But that he'll be back. Maybe tomorrow. I'm not sure how long I will wonder when I'll see him again before, suddenly, that small part in the back of my brain will remind me that he's not here. After this, it makes me realize more than ever how much more I need to focus on the today. The here. The now. The people around me and the people I want to be around me.

I think in the past year, I've really tried to force relationships that are too one-sided and have given up on relationships that I should've given another try. Like the first day I met him, I'm reminded of how important it is to enjoy the random people that are presented to you in life. He always gave me perspective-- seemingly unflappable-- he was the steadiest guy I knew. When I first found out he was gone, I felt angry. This was not the type of thing that happens to young people. Dying was something that happened to old people. It violated the rules I had set up in my mind. But I need to cherish those that I care about. We need to treasure the time we have together.

I miss you. I'll probably think of you every time it rains.

Conversations with a Bus Driver

So I'm at the annual leadership retreat with all of my fellow Boothies and between directing around approximately 600 first years between the 40 of us and trying to make sure that a.) no one dies, b.) no one gets left behind, c.) everyone is having a fun time and d.) everyone is actually doing something and learning from all the activities that are planned--I didn't really plan on learning anything myself from a life perspective. I knew I was going to learn a lot from my other facils-- how we work together, and how we function well or don't function well in certain team dynamics, but I didn't think I was going to have any leadership-y type realizations during my time here-- mostly because I would probably be too tired or too anxious about my first years (strong indications of potential over-protective mom syndrome in the future, which really means that I should stay away from that sort of thing for everyone's sake) to be able to reflect deeply on my life.

Sometimes things happen unexpectedly though.

This morning we went on a ropes course-- my first years got to play on high ropes and challenge themselves and do some low ropes courses that were focused more on team skills I watched my first years learn about each other, gradually get more comfortable with one another and form tenuous, but genuine new friendships. I was reminded that, no matter how old I feel or how much I feel like I've lived through, things can begin again. Things will always begin anew. This was me just a year ago! But how easy it is to forget that things can change and grow-- in a year, I'd forgotten that these types of new things could happen. After being so enclosed in my own mind, watching my first years reminded me that the world is much bigger than what offer letter I get and what my title is after business school. School loans will always linger on my mind, but it doesn't have to consume me. There are other things to look forward to.

On the way home, I started talking to our bus driver. He told me about when he first moved to Chicago, the houses he had bought and sold over time and the way the city had been changing. He shared his concerns for the economy and his worries on how he would be able to retire one day with his wife, and it struck me that, even though me and the bus driver are light years apart in almost every respect-- our goals in life-- are the same.This was crazy to me because I've been trying to figure out what I wanted out of life for the better part of the last year. Business school does that to you-- creeps into your brain and asks a lot of uncomfortable, overarching, super-broad, inescapable life questions. Especially now that the internship is done and the first years and anxious to begin their process of recruiting, it becomes hard to separate what my career could be and what I want from life. Being someone who often confuses these things, it was important for me to gain that perspective again. Even if it was from the most surprising of places.

I Really Think I Missed My True Calling

If this whole b-school thing doesn't pan out.. Hallmark card writer.

College Costs Rise by 500% in US Since 1985

Can someone please explain this chart to me? As someone who just got hit hard with my most recent tuition bill, this seems kind of unfair.

Granted, I'm sure there's 18 different ways that this data has been tampered with and therefore this isn't as accurate as it should be because we decided to cut and filter the crap out of this data, but regardless, something needs to be done.

With unemployment levels not seen since the 1990s and the continuing rise of globalization, the world is a smarter, more efficient and more diverse place. This makes us more innovative, but it also inherently leads to more competitive positions to fill. Although people try to comfort me in saying that greater efficiency does not necessarily mean fewer jobs, it's a hard thing to believe when you're trying to pay off all of that student debt.

Things I Wish I Knew....

I had a good chat with my friend from bschool today and we both agreed there are a lot of things that we wish we knew when we were younger. Between this and me visiting my friends in southern California this weekend, I realized that there was a lot to this whole "growing up" business. It's more than just differences between your 20s and your 30s a la Huffington Post.. so here are some things that we chatted about:

1. The whole "you'll grow out of getting pimples" thing is a lie. A big fat lie. And when you're in high school, it sucks because it might show up when you're going to a dance or something, but when you're an adult, it'll always happen before you have a big presentation or meeting with your boss. Always.
2. There probably isn't such a thing as "The One", if nothing else from a probability perspective...BUT don't use this as an excuse to not care about the one you're with, because there IS definitely a "The One That You're Most Compatible With". So get your ish together.
3. Moving always sucks. You will always have more crap than you need. Get in the habit of getting rid of stuff periodically to try to trick yourself into thinking it'll be better next time, and then when it comes time to move again, hire a mover.
4. Trying on jeans, as a girl, is always a traumatic experience. It gets worse. Prepare yourself mentally, like you're going to war.
5. You're going to start losing people you care about now that you're getting older. You'd think that you'd get used to it after awhile, but losing people you care about always sucks-- it's not always a break up, it's death, moving, slowly drifting apart. This is life I suppose, but that doesn't make it suck less.
6. You find yourself wishing for high school house parties because it requires less effort. Sad but true. When you hit this stage, you also figure out who your really close friends are because you can hang out with them and debate the merits of Persian soap operas and have that be the highlight of your week

 Ahh. Life tips. From someone who has no idea what the hell she's doing. Enjoy!

Nokia's Next New Thing

So. It's finally happened. After back-to-back years of loss, Nokia has decided to let itself be acquired by Microsoft. According to the terms of the deal, Microsoft gets Nokia's phone business, Qualcomm and other key IP licenses. Microsoft licenses Nokia's patents for all Microsoft products as well as the ability to use Nokia HERE broadly in its products. Nokia retains NSN, HERE, its CTO office and its patent portfolio.

Reading Nokia's earnings reports is a sad, sad thing to do (more accessible presentation here). Losses each quarter, and being particularly hit hard in its mobile devices due to slimming margins means that there is little relief coming for this company. However, contrary to the market (Microsoft stock fell this morning upon opening while Nokia's soared), I've been big on Nokia. For nothing else, because it's clear that its patent portfolio could be its golden goose to get itself out of this mess. Nokia probably will not last for much longer as the Nokia that we know it as today, but between its geo-centric capabilities (HERE) and its highly innovative technologies focusing on its camera (Lumia 1020 supposedly has the best phone camera in the world), Nokia should get acquired by a bigger entity, and Microsoft is the perfect candidate.

From Microsoft's perspective, they've instantly bought their way into the location-based game, and now could potentially rival Google in the future with mapping and geo-centric data on its users. Additionally, with all of the hype coming around regarding the photographic qualities that a smart phone gives its users (augmented reality, personal digital assistants, entertainment, bar code scanning, geo-centric streaming data, object recognition for mobile shopping, mobile payments), don't be surprised if Microsoft parlays the excellent camera as something more utilitarian....perhaps even as a rival to Google Glass. Officially, in Microsoft's official M&A announcement/call/related presentation, they seem pretty tight lipped on their plans, however, the growth and popularity of their new windows phone bodes well for their new relationship. Microsoft did explicitly call out that they're looking at "a family of devices with integrated services" with a specific call-out to geospatial. Particularly if Microsoft can parlay it into their existing portfolio of Xbox (entertainment) and Skype (communication), this "geospatial" play could really work out well for both them and Nokia.

Things I Learned from the Internet, Part 103.5

I know that this has been blowing up all over the internets yesterday, but I really gotta say, every now and then the internet does something that's not related to porn, cute animals or consumerism that I really love. This is one of those things.

I've been a little anti-love and relationships for a bit recently just because, living in San Francisco makes me realize that dating is not really my scene. It's so fleeting-- and frankly, I'm just not interested even though all my friends are pressuring me to be. But, then I come across one of those videos that make me feel like, "Yeah. Love it. This is awesome. I'm back into it. Full circle."

So moral of the story, if you want to be depressed by stories about chemical warfare, a crap economy, political turmoil, porn, drugs and how nothing is really working right, turn to the internet. If you want a one in a million chance of seeing something that (if nothing else slightly) restores your faith, turn to the internet.

I also haven't really used Vine, but one of my co-workers turned me onto the video below, which made me giggle.

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

I really like to travel. There's something really exciting about going somewhere that you've never been, or even revisiting places that you've been before but just love so damn much that you have to keep going back. I also think that traveling inherently makes you a better person. I'm sure some people will argue that this isn't very nice, since it implies that only wealthy people can be good people since they're the only people that can really afford to travel. But to you, I say nay.

 You can "travel" locally! In fact, it's one of the best things to do. Sure, there's certain things that you can only learn in specific places, but really it's whatever place resonates best with you. I remember that when I was little, I didn't fully grasp what poverty was until I went to go visit family in Malaysia. The kids there had no toys, often their families (my extended family!) couldn't afford TVs, and because American junk food was so expensive, they didn't keep much of it in the house. They ate healthy, played outside, and had to play with each other for amusement. Things were hard-- I remember my cousin broke her arm falling down and her family couldn't afford to send her to the hospital (rural hospital was quite expensive) after my family left, but they still splinted her up and she's fine. (And apparently kind of a indestructible.)

My favorite thing about living in San Francisco this summer is just walking around. Wandering around downtown or the mission at night or on the weekend with friends is really fantastic. I think part of it is that, as we get older, we begin to lose that something--that unexplainable extra-- where you're just excited for no damn reason. Maybe it's the surprise factor-- the unexplainable excitement that comes from not knowing what comes next or around the corner. When you're little, it's literally everything because you barely know how to function like a normal human being (I still struggle sometimes). But when you're somewhere new, you don't know what is on THIS street or what is in THAT store/trail/fork in the road. This kind of freedom is so small that I think it slips through too often without anyone noticing. I know that I'm often so focused on work or school or whatever little drama or task that I need to think about that I fall into a predictable rut.

It's hard to keep telling myself to reset-- to think not just about what I'm doing, but why I'm doing it. Especially after years of consulting and (continuing) a high pressured, time-sensitive, deadline-driven lifestyle, taking time to wander seems illogical, inefficient. It's easier to just keep working, go to school and do everything that's expected. But I think that exploring, trying new things, going to new places remind me why I'm doing it, and that's most important of all.

The Chennai Express

So a couple weekends ago, I went to go visit my dear friends C and D who just moved to Redwood City from The City (San Francisco) and into a brand new (beautiful!) condo. Among other things, we had a great weekend going for walks in the wildlife reserve outside of their front porch (life’s rough, right?), debating the safety of his new, red Ducati speed bike, most likely drinking more than we should and “doing Indian things” (their words, not mine). We went to Indian brunch, where I got some dosa (a large crepe-like thing, which you tear into pieces and eat with one of the five various sauces that it’s served with) and going to an Indian movie. We went to go watch Chennai Express, which, although there are terrible reviews of it floating around, I found to be thoroughly interesting and enjoyable. I learned a lot. It was truly a cultural experience. A recap:

• All my Indian friends love to dance, but they always made fun of how funny Indian dancing (moves often stolen from Bollywood movies) is. Well, there is AWESOME music in Bollywood movies, so my conclusion is that Indians dance differently (note: not just standing there dry humping the air) because their music is better. Here’s what I see for the future-- a return of Indian beats (bhangra beats, yo) in mainstream music again (kind of like when we saw the emergence of latin music in the 90s)
• Why can’t all movie theaters offer snacks of the samosa variety? I tell you what, it doesn’t have to be an Indian movie for me to thoroughly enjoy a mango lassi (I know it’s not “real Indian food”, but I really like them) and a samosa with my movie. I think they’d pair just as well with the new Wolverine movie than with Chennai Express. Delicious
• I feel like I got my money’s worth. It was approximately a 3 hour movie. I got an intermission in the middle-- to buy more snacks. When I came back, there was another set of previews before the movie started again. This, my friends, has got to be pure marketing genius. Someone in the Indian movie industry came up with the “Why not two sets of previews? Two sets of advertising revenue? Two times to build hype for what’s coming up?” and someone gave him a million dollars in a burlap sack (with a green dollar sign painted on it). I’m pretty sure that’s how it works when you’re a business genius
• Finally, I know Indian movies get a lot of crap because they’re slightly formulaic. Okay, really formulaic. The formula basically goes like this: take one protagonist who is poor, have them meet by chance another main character of the opposite sex who is not. Have them fall in love. Introduce a third party that is a hurdle for the two characters to overcome if they want to be together. Multiply with some family disbelief, some family members trying to secretly sabotage/support the two lovebirds and then some silly antics. Divide by one big (very public) confession/show of love. Live happily ever after. I’m not a big romantic, although I wish I was. But the best part of the movie is the escapism. It’s just so over the top that you actually begin wishing that you could believe that life will work out like that and you’ll find the person that will make you happy (and apparently break into a choreographed dancing/singing number with elephants) and that understands where you’re coming from even though you’re from two different worlds. I’m willing to pay for that

Now, all I need to do is find another Indian movie house. Chai please.

And, to end on a dance number:

If Pitbull Wasn't Pitbull...

He could be an excellent telephone operator. 

"Hi, I'd like to look up a movie theater in...."

[Pitbull]

Went from Mr. 305 (DJ) to Mr. Worldwide, all around the world

Now we're International, So international, international, So international

You can't catch me, boy

I'm overseas and with about a hundred G's per show

Don't test me boy, (Don't test me boy)

Cause I rap with the best for sure,

305 till the death of me

Cremate my body and let the ocean have what's left of me

But for now, forget about that,

Blow the whistle

Baby you're the referee

DALE!

"Uhm, I actually just wanted to know if there "This Is the End" is playing near me. Could you look up..."

[Chorus: Chris Brown]

You put it down like New York City

I never sleep, wild like Los Angeles

My fantasy, hotter ill be Miami

I feel the heat!

Ohh, Miss International love (international)

Ohh, Miss International love

[Pitbull]

I don't play football but I've touched down everywhere

Everywhere? Everywhere! (dale!)

I don't play baseball but I've hit a home run everywhere, everywhere

I've been to countries and cities I can't pronounce

And the places on the globe I ain't know existed

In Romania she pulled me to the side and told me `Pit, you can have me and my sister.`

In Lebanon, yeah the women are bomb

And in Greece you've guessed it the women are sweet

Been all around the world but I ain't gon' lie there's nothing like Miami's heat

Dale!

"Well that sounds like a great time! I'm actually looking for something in the Bay Area? Maybe? Uhm, closer to Daly City if possible..."

[Chorus: Chris Brown]

You put it down like New York City

I never sleep, wild like Los Angeles

My fantasy, hotter ill be Miami

I feel the heat!

Ohh, Miss International love (international that's right!)

Ohh, Miss International love

"Is there someone else on the line? Who is that?"

[Pitbull]

Down in D.R. they're looking for visas,

I ain't talking credit cards if you know what I mean!

En Cuba, la cosa esta dura!

But the woman get down, if you know what I mean!

In Colombia the women got everything on but they're some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen

In Brazil they're freaky with big ol' booties and their thongs, blue yellow and green!

In L.A. tengo la Mexicana, en New York tengo la boricua

Besito para todas las mujeres en Venezuela, muah! (mami)

Y en Miami tengo a cualquiera!

"I thought I pressed one for English...hold on..."

[Chorus: Chris Brown]

You put it down like New York City

I never sleep, wild like Los Angeles

My fantasy, hotter ill be Miami

I feel the heat! (all around the world)

Ohh, Miss International love

Ohh, Miss International love

"So I'm actually looking for the Bay Area? West of those places?"

[Chris Brown]

There's not a place that your love don't affect me baby

So don't ever change

I cross the globe when I'm with you baby

Heeey (Chris Brown)

Woah-oh  

"I really don't want a relationship...just so info, can I talk to you manager?"

[Bridge: Pitbull]

Chris Brown

This for the women worldwide

That's right

"This is way more than I asked for..."

[Chorus x2: Chris Brown]

You put it down like New York City (212)

"Anything in the 415?"

I never sleep, wild like Los Angeles (310)

"No? 415? Nothing?"

My fantasy, hotter ill be Miami (305)

"I'm not in the f-ing 305! I want 415! 415!!"

I feel the heat! (305!)

Ohh, Miss International love (international?)

Ohh, Miss International love (so international... you international? so international...)

*click*

Read more: Chris Brown - International Love Lyrics | MetroLyrics