Life Resolutions While Hungover

I'm hungover. More hungover than I wish I was. Mostly because I'm one of those people that, when hungover, are inconsolable. Not that I haven't done my research. I've definitely read all those articles that tell me that, when hungover, I can just eat some eggs (they have some enzyme that makes you feel better or your hangover go away faster or something) or drink some coconut water and my life will feel better. These are mostly lies, except the coconut water at least makes me feel less like dying, but only because I can pretend that I'm living in Brazil again.

Anyway. Being hungover has reminded me that even though I'm 27 and probably have a lot more mistakes to make ("Totally not too old to have a one-night stand!" yelled my friend at a bar last night. Uh, thank you? I'm honored? Lots of question marks there.), I keep thinking about when I was little.

When I was little, I would get really bored and run around and make my mom nuts by following her around and asking questions she didn't care about while she was running two restaurants. After the typical parent brush offs-- "Don't you have homework to do?" (Mom, I'm seven. The pinnacle of me having a successful day is making sure I don't have to sit next to the kid who eats glue during art section.), "Why don't you go find your sister?" (Mom, she's been avoiding me and my annoying ass since she's turned thirteen. Do you really think she's going to want to have a long chat with me about why Disney's Fantasia is so scary while Little Mermaid is awesome?) and "Why don't you go read a book or something?" (No. Just no. Bothering you is way more fun) she would default to the typical Tiger Mom response of "Why don't you go sit and think about how you can be better?".  Talk about a wide open question. Although this memory explains a lot of my neuroses and also why I will need extensive therapy after my real mid-life crisis, it also explains why I'm constantly critical of who I am and what I do. Not to veer into a "woe is me" or "I'm super egotistical" vein here, because this is actually something I kind of enjoy doing. Could I be kinder? More understanding? Could I be a better friend? A better confidant? A better sister? Daughter? Girlfriend? How about something small-- could I stop throwing my socks into the corner and just put them in the hamper where they belong? Hard to say on that one. I want my socks to be free.

After a particularly hard week at work, I wonder if we can't all benefit from a little more self-analysis. Spend a little time just to think about how we can be nicer to each other. At the end of the day, it's one of the only things I can change. As I think ahead into my final (second-- final sounds so ultimate, so bleak. Let's be real it was a two year program, so let's not get crazy here) year of business school, I realize that a lot of things that I've taken for granted are about to end. A year from now, I could be living in a different city, a different state, I'll definitely be working in a different company, and I won't be able to make 27-year-old mistakes because I'll be busy making 28-year-old mistakes. But I don't want to take that time for granted, because I think that I've been doing a lot of that lately. So, for my second year, I think I'll focus more on being with the people that I love-- at school, at work, or just my outside friends from life in general. To spend time with them, and enjoy their company because it might be the last time we see each other for a long while. I mean, this is really my last time to make life changing decisions with them, right? (Typical b-school conversation, for example, is "Oh...you're going to get a visa to move to Poland and start a new company? Oh. How does your wife in Chicago feel about that? And the kids?"). I wish I could warn all the people, especially all my Chicagoans, how much I'm going to bother them in the coming year, but I figure it's okay. I've always been bad at reminding people about stuff anyway. It'll be a surprise.

Things I've Learned Recently

• There's a species of Slave Ants that are so specialized in their role of enslaving other ant colonies that they can't even forage for food on their own. These ants spend their entire days sneaking into other colonies, steal the pupae of other ants, bring them back to their colony until they hatch, and then, when they hatch, the new ants are hardwired to work for wherever they are born. New slaves for the colony, slaves that gather food for their new masters, and the cycle goes on. This is pretty interesting to start with, but the most interesting thing is that this has happened for awhile and no one thought much of it. Then, they started studying these ants and realized that at certain times, the pupae would hatch, work for awhile and then revolt against their new masters-- often decapitating them or attacking them, but then would go back to work afterward. If this isn't the weirdest parallel of society, I don't know what is. Weirder yet, I also read (when looking up pictures) that these slave ants also try to kill the offspring of their masters. What a crazy weird relationship. (National Geographic, August 2013)

• The cost per square foot of real estate in Hong Kong right now is $11,000. Which, compared to the $4,000 (on average) in Manhattan (one of the most expensive places to live in the United States), is more than double-- almost triple. The rising real estate market is somewhat attributed to the demand coming from mainland China, which, in 2003 had no billionaires on Forbes' list, but now, in 2013 has over 120. The newest status symbol, it seems, is to own property in Hong Kong. Again tying to the similarities in Manhattan, this demand is probably tied to the scarcity of real estate in Hong Kong. Hong Kong, being an island, is incredibly limited in the amount of space that it has, and this rare-ness has always seemed to draw in those who are wealthy. Especially those who are spectacularly wealthy-- or who are enjoying the new wealth that comes from the manufacturing industry in one of the busiest manufacturing countries on the planet.  (Elle, June 2013)

• I watched The Beaver today (the one about the beaver puppet) and it was a surprisingly good movie. I wonder if puppet therapy is a real thing. I don't think that this disassociative living is healthy, but hey-- who hasn't ever wanted to live vicariously through a (British) beaver hand puppet? In all seriousness though, the movie starts with an add about depression and, I never knew that 2 out of 3 people with depression don't seek help. I feel like this is something that's more widespread than even I probably realize. Having had family members that suffered through depression, I can only imagine how awful it is to go through it, but also go through it alone. 

Things I Learned From...The Movies

I went to the movies tonight after a long absence, and I learned a lot.  Whoever said the movies don't teach you anything was a liar. Let me share with you some things that I learned:

1. Previews are kind of awesome-- I know a lot of people hate them, but I actually almost enjoy them as much as the actual movie nowadays. Especially during the summer--I think the best previews happen then. But anyways. I digress.

• Runner Runner-- I didn't actually see the preview for this one, but I did see the poster in the lobby, and since Ben Affleck AND Justin Timberlake are in it, it's either going to be the most awesome movie ever, or the worst movie ever. Either way, I'm probably going to watch it. But secretly, so no one will judge me and hold yet another movie against me when we get into those discussions about what terrible taste I have in movies. (Transformers was not THAT bad people.)
• Seventh Son-- Holy crap Julianne Moore! I hope I look like you when I'm older, because, datum lady you got it going on. Also, after Snow White and the Huntsman (Yes, I saw it. Yes, I am ashamed I saw it. Yes, it's a waste of your time and money.) I'm beginning to get a serious complex. Some of these older gals are really holding up under the test of time. Makes me embarassed about my womanliness. Just sayin'. Also, let's stop making movies that make me think that it's an Eragon movie and get all excited.
• Enders Game-- Yup. Nerdgasm. All over the place. Excuse me while I go nerd out and buy the set on Amazon. 

2. Mark Wahlberg has got to be one of the hardest working men in Hollywood. Why must I feel like I have to watch every movie he makes? Its not even like I find him sexy or anything-- I think it's really just that he only makes one kind of movie. Angry brooder with almost magical strength and fighting skills decides to exact revenge on bad guys/evil corporation/one guy who ruined his life. He doesn't care about the rules-- he takes the law into his own hands. Awesomeness ensues. 

3. The Actual Movie. I heard a lot of really positive reviews of this movie, so I really felt like I had to go be part of this movie. I feel like, after I was told that it was basically a rehashing of the well-known Godzilla movie, I was able to appreciate it more. Despite the gaping plot holes and the kind of flat characters, I really enjoyed myself. Guillermo Del Toro really has a fantastic mind when it comes to monsters, so having him mastermind a remake of the Godzilla theme was kind of genius. Additionally, with a strong female (ASIAN) main character and the testosterone-y fight music and big giant robots killing big monsters and I was super excited about this movie. It's probably not the best movie of the summer, but if you're going to see it, definitely see it in the movie theater--otherwise the big special effects will just be wasted on you.

4. Is it just me or are there a ton of "the world is ending so hold on to your panties" type of movie going on? Can we focus on more Despicable Me and less on how the world as I know it is going to end? Between my quarter life crisis and all these movies telling me that everything is going to hell in a hand basket, I'm not feeling to up on life. Thanks.

Finally, read this article ("Cape of Good Hope") in my catching up of The Economist, and maybe it's just my nerdy comic interests showing through, but I thought it was awesome. Really makes me think about Superman in a whole new way. 

The Older I Get....

The more I realize that I have no idea what I'm doing. Am I right? I'm supposed to be an "adult" now. I finished undergrad. I worked for a few years. I met interesting people, I traveled to a lot of different cities. I even own a piece of furniture that doesn't come from Ikea!! Don't all of these things somehow, when mashed together, make me an official adult? And, as an adult, doesn't that mean that I wake up and suddenly know how to make decisions and go about choosing a proper life plan for myself? Or at least get a manual?

Alas, 'tis not so. This is what I thought it would be like once I left work to go to business school:

1. I would leave work and go through three quarters a year at a really hard business school. Let the butt-kicking commence. (This was so broad it was impossible for it NOT to happen.)
2. I would take a lot of courses that I really have no business taking because I have no in-depth experience there. I would take them any way however, because, well, that's what I'm paying so much for dangit. (Butt-kicking commences. This part happened.)
3. I would be jealous of people who don't do this because they're lives are way less painful than mine. (This also really happened.)
4. I would meet some of the best people in the world and we would become best friends. (This happened. And I also met some of the not-so-best people in the world. That happens too.)
5. I would find an internship that is super exciting and would let me really know what life is like. I would meet lots of new interesting people, live in the bay area for awhile, and ultimately really figure out my life-- my financial life, my social life, my love life, my career life-- hell, even my avatar on Sim City was going to get a makeover.  (This did not happen.)

Okay, so I guess maybe I put a little too much pressure on my summer internship being the end-all, be-all of my growth as...you know, a human being, but I honestly did think that I would be more sure of myself than I am now. Because, I've found out, the problem with doing stuff, is that, the more you do, the more questions you have-- Why am I doing this and not something else? (Thanks Booth, for making me second-guess myself constantly. You call it a "analytical" mindset, I call it I'm-going-to-be-a-nervous-wreck-and-need-therapy-in-five-years.) Am I doing it the right way? The right place? With the right people? Am I making my life meaningful? Am I sharing these experiences with people that I actually care about?

I've also noticed that as I've gotten older it's become less about what I'm doing and more about who I'm doing it with-- my friends, family, my team. Being able to share life experiences with people you care about make all the difference in the world. So... for now, I'm not sure if the what or the why or the how is perfect, but I guess I can rest easy knowing that the who is pretty awesome (from a musical sense and an overall life sense).