Life After (Fill in the Blank)

Earlier, I mentioned how I had gotten my latest rejection from business school, and, disappointed in myself and somewhat set adrift without knowing where to really go, I asked the question, "What now?".

In times like this I think it helps to put things in perspective. To look outside of the tiny world that I live in, the very narrow perspective that I have, to see things in a different way- to stop feeling sorry for myself in such a pathetic way and do something with my life. I came across this article about Paul Terlizzi in the Wall Street Journal. Mr. Terlizzi was the former CEO of Capezio Ballet Makers Inc, which was the biggest US maker of dance shoes since the days of Fred Astaire. Due to the economic downturn, he had been displaced from his company and similarly felt adrift.

His situation is a bit different because, already having achieved the position of CEO, his inclination was to buy another company. His problem was how to find and fund a new company that he could call his own- to find something that fit into what he wanted, to make a choice. However, the sentiment is the same, he felt like he didn't know where to start, where to turn or what to do next.

In his search he believes that the three most critical factors for success includes:

1. Leveraging your best skills
2. Relying more on resourcefulness than networking
3. Letting go of your past

I can certainly understand number 1, and I think I am the testament to number 2 (I am, by nature, a horrible networker. I wish I was better at it, so it's something I consciously work at regularly). I think the thing that struck a chord with me is number 3- letting go of your past. For Mr.Terlizzi, that meant moving away from all his preconceived notions and baggage (for lack of a better word) that he carried with him from his previous job as a CEO. I'm sure that it also meant that he focused on letting go of even the intermediary disappointments that he felt while looking- employers who never called him back, rejections after interviews-so that he could focus on the goal at hand.

I think that maybe this mentality would help me as well. I wonder if maybe I am looking at this whole thing the wrong way- maybe success will always be out of my reach as long as I'm worrying about my previous failures. I think it's a normal to feel insecure after rejection, but maybe these insecurities are holding me back more than helping me. I always analyze and re-analyze all of my previous bschool applications in my mind, from essays to interviews to follow up/ in person meetings, and I ask myself all sorts of questions, "Was there something better I should've said?", "Should I have done this earlier/later?", "Is it possible that I just didn't write this correctly?" and even the more counterproductive, "Maybe I'm just not qualified?", "Could I be shooting too high?", "Maybe I need to readjust my expectations for myelf?".

I think I need to let these worries go now. They've been plaguing me since January, and although they are my way to pretend to control over something that I have no control over, they're just making me crazy. I need to accept that whatever happens will happen, and if it's not what I had hoped for I can always try again next year. At some point in life, I think you need to "roll with the punches" and be proud that you could do that, as that is definitely harder and more productive than feeling sorry for yourself.

Mr. Terlizzi now owns a small company that manufactures pillows. He makes only 25% of what he did at Capezio, but when asked about how he feels, he says "Now, I have this one little business. It's all in one place and it's all mine."