Things I Learned from the Internet, Part 103.5

I know that this has been blowing up all over the internets yesterday, but I really gotta say, every now and then the internet does something that's not related to porn, cute animals or consumerism that I really love. This is one of those things.

I've been a little anti-love and relationships for a bit recently just because, living in San Francisco makes me realize that dating is not really my scene. It's so fleeting-- and frankly, I'm just not interested even though all my friends are pressuring me to be. But, then I come across one of those videos that make me feel like, "Yeah. Love it. This is awesome. I'm back into it. Full circle."

So moral of the story, if you want to be depressed by stories about chemical warfare, a crap economy, political turmoil, porn, drugs and how nothing is really working right, turn to the internet. If you want a one in a million chance of seeing something that (if nothing else slightly) restores your faith, turn to the internet.

I also haven't really used Vine, but one of my co-workers turned me onto the video below, which made me giggle.

The Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, said:

“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

We're going to break it down here today  at The RY and take a breather. I have recently rolled off my mobile strategy project, and am beginning to look at my options for my next project.Three options, but with project work, we all know that in the consulting world, the number of potential projects that you can roll onto has an exponential positive correlation with your anxiety during your time period (multiplied by the amount of time they make you wait before your next project starts). Consultant math.

Out of the three projects, one's in San Diego, which could be awesome. But I don't know what my role could be. Another is on the east coast, but could have an awesome leadership role for me. One could be international with tons of visibility, but might not sell. D'oh.

So that's why we're ending up here today. Because life is short, and I need to take a couple of breaths to remind myself that there is more out there than just work. There's volleyball on the weekends, yogurt places where you can add your own fruit and people like the Dalai Lama out there. Yup. This. Is. Happening.

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"Human-ness"

Often when I talk about people I admire, I'll mention that I admire their capacity to remember another person's "human-ness". I feel like I should take a step back and explain myself at this point.

I think that in many corporate jobs, particularly ones like mine where the most successful are often equated to be also the same people who are the most robotic (You often here things like "Oh she really churns out work!" or "He's rough, but he really knows how to hit deadlines")- you soon realize that there is a higher premium placed on good workers than good people. This makes sense though, from a business perspective, you need people who will do their jobs and be good at them! When there are tight deadlines and close working quarters, this makes for stressful times, but the company wants to rest assured that the work will get done, the clients will be happy, and maybe, if we're lucky, they'll buy some more work from us due to the good work previously done.

However, I think there are two sides of this discussion. One one hand, it is much harder to remember the human side of a person than it seems. If we could all just remember the human side of people, I think that the world would be a better place- people would argue less, let the little things go, and generally be nicer to each other. However, I do think that there is a limit to this- if the person you have to work with (or are friends with, or somehow interact with) is not a respectable person, not a hard worker, or generally dead weight on the team, then you can have the right to feel about them however you choose (me, I just try to stay away from them).

So on the first point. When you're stressed, irritable, or sleep deprived, it's easy for you to really hate the coworker sitting next to you. Because they're breathing too loud, because they aren't doing their share of the work or just because you're cranky and they happen to be there. Especially in today's office, where there are so many wireless devices between you and the person next to you, it's easy to distance yourself and begin to think of that other person as not a person. But it's important to remember that they are people- I mean we work in teams with this person for 4 days a week, at least 12-14 hours a day. You don't have to be friends, but at least remember that they are people- they have families, issues, worries- and they deserve a break too! We all make mistakes and everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt. Maybe they missed a deadline because they're dealing with relationship problems, or maybe they're just not as social this week because a family member is sick- whatever the case, I try to remember these things before I really lose it on someone for being a bad team member. They also have dreams and hopes and fears. Try it out- take some time to think of the people around you as people with lives and stories behind them. I swear it'll change the way you act.

On the flipside, we've all run into that person who pretty much doesn't ever pull their weight. I try to remind myself that this person is also a person. (However much they seem like some evil robot who was constructed solely to spew senseless noise while the rest of us are trying to work- undoubtedly trying to rub it in that they are refusing to do work, even though there is always-always!-more than enough work to do.) In cases like this, it becomes exponentially harder to respect the person. In situations like this, I believe it's best to still try to remember that they're people, but to keep your distance. In my experience, these people just bring you down- they're toxic. They make the team morale plummet, productivity stop, and general anger on the team increase.

So how does this affect your life? At least initially try to remember that everyone is a person (it sounds so easy doesn't it?). If they are genuinely good people, try to enjoy their company- get to know them, as some of the best relationships you'll make will be through close-knit, pressure-intense projects like these. If you really don't believe that they're good people- get your job done, be civil, and get out. Interfering with these types of people too much inevitably lead to lowered morale (you might be led to think "Well, if he's not working, why should I be?" or "If he gets by and no one cares, I should be able to also!") and this is the wrong mindset to go into work with!

This is a mantra I need to keep close to my heart. Get your job done, be civil, get out. But I've definitely had some great times, and have met some of the best people I've had the opportunity to work with through these types of projects. To those people- I thank you- it's been a pleasure!

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