"Do You Have a Killer Career?"

So I recently opened up my Self Magazine for May (for the men and the unknowing, Self Magazine is a women's magazine that focuses on health (recipes, healthy eating, workout tips, etc.) and overall "feel good" life tips (lifestyle tips, touching articles about life and overcoming obstacles, etc.). Stay with me though.

One of the articles that I found kind of funny this month (that I don't think is supposed to be funny) was an article that they titled "Do You Have a Killer Career?". The message is sobering (You're going to die if your job is strenuous, but my internal dialogue was bitter (of course) but also kind of funny. So, to spread health information and to keep y'all out there safe at work, I'm going to share the highlights and my internal thoughts (in italics). This is how it went.

There are 5 sections that they deem "Ticker Traps" because "Tough days at the office can leave you more than frazzled. They can significantly raise your risk for heart disease. Learn to keep work woes from giving your health a pink slip". Who writes this stuff? It's like Dr. Seuss grew up and became a life coach.

• Ticker Trap #1: A Pressure Cooker Job- Women with a demanding profession have up to a 56% higher risk for heart disease than those with less strain, a study from Harvard University reveals. So, having a demanding job means I have a higher chance for heart disease. Luckily, most of the hard working corporate people I work with on the job don't have hearts. Ha! No, but seriously, that means I have a 34% chance of being completely normal... Those are pretty good gambling odds, right? Also, how are they defining "demanding profession"- does it mean we have a lot of responsibilities? Or that people make demands of us? Or, that we are we demanding? Either way, I'm screwed. I should probably start working out or something and stop stress eating.

• Ticker Trap #2: The Boss from Hell-  A crummy superior (someone who doesn't support her employees or is unclear about her goals) can increase the risk for heart disease by 64% in men, a study from the university of Stockholm finds. It's unknown if women suffer similarly....what??...but chronic stress from a lousy leader keeps adrenaline and cortisol levels high, straining your system. Seriously? Wait, why do they assume that my crummy superior is a woman? Couldn't my crummy superior be a man? Especially in my job, it is statistically more likely that it would be a man. Since most of the employees are men, and we know it increases the risk of heart disease in men...Oh NO! My company is a man killing machine!!

• Ticker Trap #3: Skipping Vacations- The fewer getaways women take, the more stress and depression (two big-time heart saboteurs) escalate, according to research from the Marshfield Clinic. What vacation? Last time I took a "vacation", it quickly got downgraded to "working from home" before I even left...

• Ticker Trap #4: Desk Jockeying- Sitting for six or more hours a day can raise your risk of dying- of anything but especially from heart disease- by 34 percent, regardless of how much you exercise, a study in the American Journal of Epidemiology reveals. Why do they use the term "desk jockeying"? "Desk jockeying" is such a nicer term for "sitting on your butt all day". I think the only time I really leave my computer during the day is to pick up lunch. To bring back to my desk. To eat there. That's probably bad.

• Ticker Trip #5: Too Much Overtime-Logging 11-hour workdays like it's, er, your job? Your heart disease risk jumps 56 percent, European Heart Journal finds.11 HOUR WORKDAYS? Where can I sign up?!  When was the last time that I worked less than 10 hours in a day...?

 So overall, it was disheartening to read for me because it brought to mind how much my job is killing me, but overall it's good information to know. Things to keep in mind as my life moves forward....